


untitled (i love you)

by starblossoms



Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Boxing, Epistolary, Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-20
Updated: 2018-01-20
Packaged: 2019-03-07 07:07:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,062
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13429482
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starblossoms/pseuds/starblossoms
Summary: A worn notebook sits on the table, each page filled with messy handwriting. Photographs, movie tickets, and other bits of memories are carefully taped in. Hansol likes to keep track of it all: the good, the bad, the mundane, the exciting, and everything in between.





	untitled (i love you)

**Author's Note:**

> i felt like experimenting...  
> this is a epistolary fic, so the entire thing is written though journal entries. it's in first person so i'm sorry if that's not your cup of tea.
> 
> there is implied violence; no graphic descriptions of violence or any of the injuries that are a result of it.

**13 August**

 

We were sitting in the bathtub. It seemed like the easiest place to do it. Me, pressed up against the wall with you between my legs, leaning against me. This was the first time I’ve done it. I never imagined doing something like this before?

I heard it’s supposed to hurt. And I’d never want to hurt you. Plus, you’ve done this before, and how could I live up to the standard?

But you had tilted your head back and grinned at me and said: “I trust you.”

And that helped. It was enough for me to pull my gloves on and get started.

I think I followed the instructions on the box pretty well? At least for someone who has no idea what he’s doing.

Long story short: I bleached your hair first. I’m pretty sure it stung but you didn’t say anything and I didn’t ask. Your hair was already brown and the bleach did its magic to turn it to the color of wet sand. It wasn’t ideal, but we moved on to the dye anyway.

By the end of it, you reminded me of a sunset (beautiful, warm, very much orange). I told you that and you laughed and kissed me on the cheek.

I'm absolutely in love with you.

 

 **Attached:** Cut-Out of Instructions on “How To Bleach Hair”

 

 **Attached:** Polaroid Photo

Hansol sits inside the bathtub with a large, bright orange stain across the front of a plain white t-shirt. Minghao sits on the rim of the tub, his hair deep orange. There’s a dash of dye on his neck and on the top of his shirt. His arm is a little strained from holding the camera in place. They both smile, and Hansol’s gums are showing.

  
  
  
  


 

 

 

**3 March**

 

We were sitting in the bathtub again. The last time we were here, your hair was bubblegum pink, a few shades lighter than your lips after I kiss you.

It had been a long time, because your hair is black again now. And this time, we were here for something different.

I asked if you were sure about it. About everything. I ran my fingers through your hair. I trailed my finger tip over the top of your ear (you had taken all your piercings out). I leaned down and kissed the back of your neck.

You turned to face me and said: “Don’t you trust me?”

And I nodded. Because I do trust you. Of course I do.

And I got to work.

First, I used scissors. Choppy locks fell to the floor of the tub and stray hairs got all over my bare chest as well as yours. The electric razor came next. And there was something strangely hypnotic about the continuous buzz and watching each hair flutter away. In taking part in transforming you into someone different but still familiar.

After, I followed the shape of your head with my fingers, fuzzy hair tickling my skin. You giggled when I said you were like a peach.

Then, we showered and I followed the shape of the rest of you with my hands.

I haven’t told you yet, maybe it’s too sappy. But your laugh reminds me of a butterfly: light, fluttering, soft, and pretty.

I love you.

 

 **Attached:** Polaroid Photo

Minghao sits on the toilet seat with a towel around his waist. He holds up a peace sign with a blank expression. His hair is buzzed short. Drawn on the photo are a couple of asymmetrical hearts.

  
  
  
  


 

 

 

**7 July**

 

I’m nowhere near an expert on medicine. I had no idea what I was doing. But there we were, seated in the bathtub, with gauze and ointment and bandages from a giant kit I ended up buying when you started doing this. We don’t go to a doctor because it’s too expensive and I worry constantly about cuts getting infected and bruises being worse than they appear.

We’ve been quiet around each other, lately. Because you’re always exhausted and worn out, and I guess I’m tired of seeing you like this.

I fixed you up the best I could, as usual. I leaned in and kissed a place on you that hasn’t been injured, as usual (finding a spot is becoming harder and harder).

You looked at me as if you could read my mind and said: “Please trust me.”

I nodded. I sighed. And I said: “Please be careful.”

I’m not sure if you’ll actually listen or not.

I hate this, but I love you.

  
  
  
  


 

 

 

**28 November**

 

**[ In some parts of this entry, the ink runs due to spots of liquid on the page ]**

 

sitting in the tub right now. came home because the nurses told me I had to. Chan made sure of it.

came in here because everything in the apartment reminds me of you.

except even this stupid bathtub makes me think of you.

  


**[ Indistinguishable scribbles take up half the page ]**

  


you’re so fucking stubborn. please listen to me more.

please come home soon.

I miss you.

  
  
  
  


 

 

 

**20 January**

 

For all the times we’ve sat in this bathtub, it’s funny to me that we’ve never actually taken a bath. Today we finally did, situated the same way we always end up: me against the wall of the tub with you between my legs, leaning back on my chest.

The smaller wounds have healed well and your hair has grown out enough for me to twirl the short strands between my fingers. I leaned down to kiss your shoulder, and then kind of just stayed there for a while, breathing in the scent of you. You sighed (blissfully I think, because it sounded different from the sighs when you came home from the ring and collapsed on the sofa because you couldn’t stay upright long enough to make it to the bedroom) and relaxed into me.

We just sat there, and I held you, until the water became cold and our fingers became like raisins. I think it was peaceful, and that’s something we really need - especially you.

 

 **Attached:** Polaroid Photo

Two pairs of legs seen from the thigh down are stretched out in tub filled three-fourths of the way, soap bubbles sparsely scattered across the surface of the water. One leg is folded with the knee poking up from the water. In the white space is written: love you always ♡

**Author's Note:**

> i hope it was alright, thank you for reading.


End file.
